travails of a single southie woman!

Had stopped writing in my blog, coz i am a religious follower of sidin's blog and I realised, I pale in comparision in terms of sheer mouse clicks - his = 31523 a day vs mine = 5 a day, "author generated" clicks. I even tried to increase my profile views by re-re-revisiting it myself - only to realise that it doesnt increase the count (why?!)....

Anyways the ernest urge to write (also referred as boredom) got the best of me, and here I am blogging away...

Talking abt sidin, am sure by now every uncle, aunty, patti, paiyan etc of the web community have now read his famous post of 'travails of single southie men'....I have read re read laughed, ducked and laughed rolled and laughed etc etc with this post. But the single point it tries to make is the point I am trying to discuss in this post (er..did that sound intellectual?!)

The cribs of why southie men are single is fine, but more than the curd rice, name, clothes, etc etc, there is one single truth why they dont get babes - Their genetic make up prevents them from having any kind of interaction with women. This, I beleive is the beginning point of all their woes

I mean a nagasubramanian, - since he has been 8 yrs old, has found comfort with his fellow 'machan' crowd rather than women.His interaction with other gender would be as under, in his life cycle -

5 yr old - A historical age - this will be the only time of his life when nagu actually played with girls - ringa ringa roses etc etc.,

8 yr old - Nagu has started thinking that 'girls' are not cool and finds solace with mani, swaminathan and likes;starts playing 'cricket' & 'Football' in playground - maniammais NOT allowed. Somewhere, the 'kapil dev's sooper sixer' talk excludes women.

12 year old - Nagu has reached the stage of progressive women hating . Girls to them are these unwanted pests roaming ard with oiled hair and 'always first rank's. Also because of the constant diet of the 'Aan singam' (Lion) talks that his granny keeps giving him...

14 yr old - uh-oh..some biological changes have started taking place and Nagu has an ernest wish to talk to girls - but then u c- it wont be looked too nicely by swami & co ( inspite of their own wishes to do so)...Our poor nagu becomes a recluse by choice, and immerses himself in books as well as bad word mouthing , rare & feared cigeratte smoking etc etc with his fellow 'machaan' crowd.

As Nagu leaves school - this is a nice sensitive age. A time when Nagu sincerely feels bad for calling uma 'Kuppamma', pulling akila's ribbons etc etc...too late! All the talk that happens is the bye's on farewell day.

16-21 - Our studious Nagu boy, has earned admission in an IIT/ REC/ BITS and the like All brilliant engineering college, where precisely 2.34% of the Junta is women, and who inevitably are only seen in the classroom and are spending rest of the time studying. So by default Nagu is left with men to enjoy the 'pleasures (?!)' of youth...

21 + - Now comes the moment of truth in Nagu's life...this is when he starts working and goes to B-schools, and er- basically starts meeting the 'bobby desai's and 'Rahul Gupta's of the world - who with their suave 'pour-your-heart-out-to-me-baby' attitude are scoring by dozens with the babes around. He tries to open his mouth and get talking - But oh - damn! All that comes out is 'can you lend me module 3 of OMD paper' / 'can you tell me how to crack 5863 in Java'

This pushes them to try two tone Magenta shirts, learning the macarena etc etc...or in other words, 'despo steps to woo the woman crowd'

Just contrast this with the lifestyles of Rahul Gupta's , who have always had 'baby's and 'chintu's as friend, and who have always seen girls as 'Just another buddy' types ( I-am excluding the dangerously nerdy types here )

The biggest backfiring all this have is our poor nagu has lost out completely on having girls as just 'friends' - he just doesnt beleive in the platonioc possibilities of friendship - a dangerous situation !

So my dear friends, dont blame it on ur lovely names - seetharaman, swaminathan, subramanian, sundarraman etc etc - u still have hopes if u just warm up to the idea that women are not necessarily alien...

lemme paaaaaartyyy.....

I dont believe this oh damn lord..I am actually sitting at office on a Friday evening when the lovely weekend is waiting for me...sheet what a loss of party time...! groan.......

well well..how i wish i cud say all that..in my case it works the other way ard 'oh-my-gawd..what am i doing in a party..?!

Coming from a proper Chennai 'goodie goodie' studious (ah-well-ok..) background,parties (the drinking, dancing variety) in my mind was things which happened only in page 3, society magazines, and movies... and well I was in for some surprise...

All this was till I joined this comm school famous for drug addicts, co-ed hostels and ad- professionals in that order. needless to say partying was the mantra. The reasons vary frm the mundane 'assignment got cancelled' to serious stuff like 'peggy (the campus dog) has had a successful sterilizing operation done'It took me a while but I realised that all that men and women congregating and doing wild shaking of heads, bellies and other things in unison is what 'real' partying is...

I distinctly remember the first major 'party' I attended. Here i shd mention that I have this unsatiable curiosity to learn things. (are u sure they are smooching i wanna look closely.. only to be stopped by a "bug off aishwarya, cant u see we r busy?")

U bet I had a fun time peeking in and out and wandering amidst wine glasses, spaghetti tops and smooching couple. In wild excitement i started dancing too...my embarassed frd and came and bit my ears saying "aishu, u dont dance tamilian stuff for 'we didnt start the fire' - oh damn!

too late! by then the whole drunken, semi drunken and sloshed crowd was too carried away by what they had witnessed and demanded an encore. I blushingly enjoyed my moment of glory and obliged, only to be rechristened 'maami' the next day. a lurvly name which stayed on for the rest of the time in campus.

Soon by the 48th party in our second month, I mastered the art of acting u r drunk when u havent had a sip of even plain thums up, always dancing like ur legs are wobbly, dressing up with horrendous shades of lipstick (they look good with the lighting - colour papers stuck to the study lamps provided by the insti) etc etc... All this till I realised that no matter what I shall stay a maami.

Completely given up, over time I become so good at partying that all the cue i needed was the huge speakers kept right outside my room.I got into the groove and escaped to the 24 hours library...It helped during placements u know?!


Flash front (heh heh) - Circa 2004, office - "aishu, I have these great passes for the 58th channel launch of zyx group (Highest TRP acheived - .3), do u wanna come?

zoom out and zoom in - next CEO of globule molecules ( or whatever) partying? no way..

"I have work u know?"

so there I am, sitting in office and blogging away crap, when the rest of the wrld is busy ogling at the handsome dudes and pretty dudettes and err..dancing with them...

hail parties!